Ask GU: Navigating Changes In Your 20s

Unravel the complexities of relationships during this transformative decade with the Girls United team.

You read correctly; we’re bringing back a major throwback in magazine culture: advice columns. Welcome to Ask GU, a safe space where you can ask burning questions about subjects most Zillennials try to find daily. Being in your 20s is a new adventure every day, and who better to get advice from than a team full of 20-somethings? Together, the GU team opened the floodgates to answer our readers’ curiosities about the ups and downs of adulting. 

Listen, we’re here as your virtual big sister to guide you through a pivotal age range that leaves us questioning life, having impromptu crying sessions or acting on impulse with no shame (until the next day). For our debut Ask GU week, our central theme in our comments surrounded change from your family dynamics to dating trends. 

For many of us, it can be hard to garner a community as we get older and maneuver real-life changes that may seem scary. Have no fear; we’re here to go on this ride together because, let’s face it, even as you age, you never have all the answers. With that being said, grab your matcha, kick your feet up and take a dive in Ask GU. 

Remember to be a part of our weekly advice column. Ask your questions every Monday to potentially participate in the next conversation.

Q: When You Get Older, How Do You Set Boundaries With Your Family?

GU: Setting boundaries as you age can be tricky, especially for your family members. Not everyone is fortunate enough to leave their homes at 18, so it’s essential to take the first step, which is knowing your triggers. Pinpointing your triggers lets you know precisely when you are about to hit a boiling point with your family. It’s not ruthless or harsh when you choose to separate yourself from people who affect your mental health. Understanding that as you climb the ladder of your twenties, the people in your life will contribute to your wellness whether you like it or not, it’s essential to be aware of what your family does that bothers you and separate yourself the best way possible.  

Q: Can You Share Relationship Advice For Late Bloomers?

GU: Surprisingly enough, it’s not too uncommon that many 20-somethings are experiencing relationships for the first time. Late bloomer is simply a construct, but we’ll save that conversation for another day. To answer your question, the main thing to remember when embarking on your first relationship at an older age is to understand what you will not tolerate. For those who were able to experience relationships during their teenage years they can reflect on the things they compromised on at an early age. Unfortunately, as you maneuver your first relationship, you must ensure your discernment is at an all-time high because people will take advantage of your eagerness. Along with establishing what you will tolerate, ensure that you keep your independence in the relationship and think of this new journey as an addition to your life rather than making this person your primary focus. 

Q: How Do You Navigate Outgrowing Friendships?

GU: Now, when we think of outgrowing friendships, the situation has many layers, from witnessing changes in your childhood friends to parting ways with those in your adulthood. Losing a friend hurts, and it can be hard to grasp not having certain people in your life anymore. First, to start your navigation process, you must reflect and analyze the extent of the friendship. Do you and your friend equally value the relationship? Were you only friends because of proximity? How personal is the friendship? After answering these questions, you can be honest about whether or not this friendship breakup deserves a conversation. We must understand that as we get older, time doesn’t stop, and we, as Zillennials, are trying to figure things out one step at a time, so just because we see friendship dynamics change doesn’t mean it’s out of ill intentions. It’s okay to part ways with people who no longer serve you, and if you think the friendship expired, you shouldn’t feel bad for letting it go. 

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