Parenting can feel like a whirlwind, especially for those experiencing it for the very first time. For new mothers in particular, bringing a baby into the world sparks an avalanche of changes—physically, emotionally, financially, and mentally. From shifting hormones to sleepless nights, from career pauses to evolving identities, the process of becoming a mom can be both beautiful and deeply overwhelming.
These changes don’t just impact the new mother’s body or mind—they also affect her relationships. That includes her connection to her partner, her community, and even to herself. If you, like so many others, are walking alongside a friend or loved one through this transformative period, know that your presence and care are significant. In a way, you’re navigating this new chapter, too.
Support during the postpartum period can take many shapes. For some, it might look like thoughtful texts or surprise deliveries. For others, it’s simply showing up—being a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, or lending a hand with daily tasks like folding laundry or restocking the fridge. Whether it’s offering to change a diaper or sending a “thinking of you” gift, the intention behind the action often means more than the act itself.
For Alexia McKay—a mother of two, publicist, and founder of RoyalTee Enterprises, LLC and Dear Black Mommy—and Christina Garrett, mom of five and founder of Momathon, support meant intentionally building a care team. Both women were navigating their businesses while adjusting to life with a newborn, and they understood early on that they couldn’t manage it all on their own.
“We know the baby is going to be good no matter what,” McKay tells GU. “But [consider asking] ‘How are you? How can I help you? What do you need, mama? What do you need to function so you can do what you need to do for the baby?’”
For McKay, the answer to those questions varied day by day. She leaned on different people in her support system depending on what she needed. While her partner was present and loving, he hadn’t experienced postpartum firsthand and couldn’t fully understand its nuances. In those moments, McKay sought out fellow moms who had been through similar challenges—friends who could offer both empathy and practical insight.
“I think it’s important, whether you’re a new mom or a seasoned mom, to have a village of transparency and relatability,” she says. “A village that you know is going to nourish you and that you can kind of grow from and learn from.”
Garrett echoed that sentiment, emphasizing how chaotic and tender those early pregnancy and postpartum moments can feel. “There’s so much happening, especially at the beginning,” she noted. And while it’s easy to get swept up in the excitement leading up to the baby’s arrival, sustaining that support in the months that follow is just as critical.
With that in mind, Garrett encourages people to lean into the love language of acts of service. That could mean stopping by to help tidy up, prepping meals for the week, or even gifting a simple subscription to pre-made dinners. The goal isn’t perfection—it’s presence.
One of the biggest lessons she’s learned through motherhood is how quickly things can settle down after the baby is born. “You have all of this building up to the arrival of your little one [and once] the baby is born, people are all around, and then a couple months in, everything kind of normalizes,” Garrett said.
So if you’re showing up for a friend during this time, keep showing up—even after the baby showers end, the congratulatory texts slow down, and the social media announcements fade. Those quieter moments are often when support is needed most.
Ultimately, every mother’s experience is unique, and the best way to know how to help is simple: ask. Your willingness to show up, to listen, and to be consistent can make all the difference as your new mom friend learns how to care for a child—while also learning to care for herself all over again.