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What To Do When Self-Care Is Stressful And You Need Help

Loving yourself can be tough when you're stressed or depressed. We've compiled a list of what you can do to make it a bit easier.
What To Do When Self-Care Is Stressful And You Need Help
Fashionable female athlete wearing jacket with sports clothing against clear blue sky
By Brooklyn White · Updated May 1, 2024

Depression doesn’t care about your self care routine. It pushes your necessary habits aside with ease, as if they’re made of tissue paper. Depression tries to swallow you whole; it ignores your best intentions and highest hopes. At that point, self care becomes less of a mandatory to-do list, and more of an overwhelming outline of activities that are too tiring to begin. Stress can do this to your self care habits as well.

On paper, self care sounds amazing. Who wouldn’t want to sit in a luxurious bathtub, try out different face masks, and drink tons of water all day. But what do you do when self care is stressful, or depression makes simple tasks difficult to complete?

Our guide will walk you through getting self care tasks completed when you’re not feeling up to it. See below.

Reach Out To Someone

When you’re feeling overwhelmed, you might avoid communicating with friends and family. The conversational expectations and shame may seem like too much to bear; but, isolating yourself is the opposite of what you should do.

Letting a loved one know that you’re having a hard time completing tasks, like changing your sheets and cooking, is helpful. You’re not being a burden; they don’t hate you. They want you to be well. So, speak up. And don’t be afraid to delegate tasks when your tribe does show up.

Focus On Doing One Thing At A Time

A part of what makes chores and self care routines overwhelming is the way that we think about them. Instead of looking at your daily list as a whole, break it down into small parts so that it’s less menacing.

Additionally, realize that some things can be done at different parts of the day. Taking care of your physical needs before an obligation like work or school can come before cleaning up your room. Prioritizing is key.

Come Up With Alternative Ways To Accomplish Tasks

Making sure that you’re healthy is something that you have to do, even when it’s difficult. But reworking your approach isn’t a bad thing.

While it’s true that you need structure, monotony can contribute to the issue, too. So, try out a new type of tea, switch out your bed spread, order dinner from a new location, use your new antidepressant holder, or buy a new type of toothpaste—anything to shake up your routine. Thankfully, you can receive some assistance with all of these things by either ordering the goods online or asking a friend to come over and help. Also, note how not each suggestion is connected to spending money – using what you have is just fine. The excitement of the switch will give you a little something to look forward to!

Stay In Touch With Your Therapist

Your therapist isn’t here to judge you or make you feel less than. (If you feel that way, then you probably need a new therapist.) Checking in with them is a part of tracking your health.

If you’re having an especially difficult time, your therapist can help you notice patterns and triggers. This will make another low point a bit easier to navigate, and help reconstruct your self care routine.

If you’re searching for a therapist, Therapy for Black Girls has a handy directory. All you have to do is plug in your state and zip code.

Image Credit: Getty Images

TOPICS:  depression mental health self care
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