Childhood fantasies of adulthood often clash with the chaotic reality we witness. As we watched older friends and relatives reach maturity, the promise of freedom seemed appealing. However, years of observing public figures and even family members shock the world with stories of betrayal and tumultuous breakups have fundamentally changed this perspective. The constant barrage of public drama—from internet headlines to deleted social media rants—has desensitized society to instability.
More troubling is the visible decline in emotional maturity among figures traditionally viewed as sources of wisdom. Once pillars of advice and comfort, many elders now publicly air grievances against former colleagues or partners, setting poor examples. While they may view these as rational venting sessions, the younger generation observes intently, learning, perhaps, only how to avoid similar fates. This behavior prompts an urgent question: where have the true adults gone?
The lack of responsible role models directly impacts the current generation’s view of family. Many younger adults in Gen Z express deep grievances with having children, citing the dysfunctional habits they’ve witnessed across family lineages. This resistance is amplified by an apparent shift in the older generation’s mindset, with some rejecting traditional parental or grandparental roles in favor of maintaining a self-perceived “youthful” identity.
This erosion of responsibility is also reflected in the dating landscape, where older men may favor complex “situationships” over commitment, risking the trauma of children born into unstable households. It is unsettling that some adults find solace in walking away from foundational responsibilities rather than building stable family units. Consequently, the traditional role of elders in guiding the youth’s moral compass has become significantly diminished.
A likely catalyst for this behavior is a deep-rooted fear of ageism, causing many adults to adopt an avoidance approach toward situations requiring high emotional maturity. This lack of modeling underscores a critical issue: the younger generation risks repeating a vicious cycle of toxicity. With 83% of Gen Z respondents reporting involvement in a cheating relationship, according to a report from Newsweek, one must ask if this is a direct result of a societal shortage of examples of healthy, committed relationships.
Whether exhibited by emotionally irrational elders or publicly separating long-married celebrities, adult behavior frequently mirrors the escalating drama seen in high school hallways. The prevalence of shallow emotional connections, often prioritized over commitment, has understandably made younger generations hesitant to pursue long-term partnerships. If the current generation of adults cannot demonstrate the standards required for maintaining a healthy emotional connection, who is responsible for teaching these vital moral and relationship standards?
The shift toward self-serving individualism—where adults often exemplify a “do as I say, not as I do” ethos—is undeniable. But where does the blame lie? Is it the pervasive influence of reality television or the amplification of drama by social media? The allure of maintaining a perpetual “youthful” or “party” lifestyle—even pursuing celebrity status as an “influencer”—often outweighs the willingness to embrace the quiet responsibilities of maturity, such as trading late nights for a minivan.
This instinctual refusal to confront toxic behaviors or accept the consequences of mistakes begs the question of whether this is a new phenomenon or merely amplified by modern platforms. While age has never been a guarantee of emotional maturity, true adulthood requires the realization that certain conflicts demand discretion, not public exposure. Developing better emotional control is essential, especially to prevent impulsive mistakes in front of impressionable children.
This dysfunctional pattern is not entirely new; past generations were also fraught with “grown folk business”—gossip about poor judgment, irrational outbursts, and hypersensitive behaviors. As children, many intuitively recognized the illogic in these adult stories, forcing them to build wisdom beyond their years with little guidance. While the older generation may have lost the recipe for moral leadership, and social media creates a facade of progress, we are not without recourse. True adults still exist, offering guidance through political and economic changes. The key for the younger generation is proactive responsibility: finding a positive tribe, studying desirable career paths, and using the journeys of responsible leaders as guides to define and embody maturity in modern society.