For a generation that values community, connection, and showing up for each other, Gen Z is facing a reality that’s hard to ignore: it’s getting expensive just to maintain your social life. Between brunches, workout classes, day trips, birthdays, brand events, girls’ nights out, and weekend getaways, friendship is starting to look less like a bond and more like a bill. As a result, the cost is adding up in more ways than one.
What used to be simple, spontaneous sleepovers, talking in the car, or hanging out at someone’s house with snacks and vibes, now revolves around restaurants, reservations, and receipts. The group chat is filled with links to ticketed events, OpenTable screenshots, and payment requests before the hangout even happens. This shift doesn’t mean we no longer want to spend time with our people. It reflects that the way we’re being asked to show up often requires spending money, money many of us don’t have.
As adults, we’re all juggling new levels of responsibility. Rent, car notes, groceries, student loans, family obligations, and inflated prices on literally everything are already heavy enough. When the unspoken cost of friendship gets added to that list, it can feel overwhelming. Consequently, some of us quietly opt out of plans, not because we don’t love our friends, but because we genuinely can’t afford another $100 dinner date or a $50 yoga class followed by $19 smoothies.
This raises the question, have we forgotten how to hang out without spending money?
Social media certainly doesn’t help. It has made friendship feel like a visual brand. In many ways, connection has become content. These days, it’s not just about having friends, it’s about showing that you have them in picture-perfect, aesthetic settings. Girls’ nights aren’t simply girls’ nights anymore. They have become themed dinner parties with charcuterie boards, color palettes, and cinematic recap videos. Birthdays have transformed from casual dinners into full-scale productions with coordinated outfits, travel itineraries, and hotel suites.
Somewhere along the way, the pressure to make memories turned into the pressure to make moments look good. As a result, casual connections can start to feel inadequate unless they’re Instagram-worthy. This shift has created the impression that real friendship has to be expensive to be meaningful.
This is not to say that celebrating your friends, treating yourself, or enjoying luxury moments is wrong. It’s beautiful to create memories, dress up, and experience joy together. However, when those moments become the only form of connection, we begin to lose something deeper. Specifically, we lose the softness of presence. We lose the reminder that simply being with each other is enough.
It’s time to normalize low-cost and no-cost friendship again.
Friendship, at its core, isn’t about how much you spend on each other. It’s about how safe, seen, and supported you feel when you’re together. It’s about knowing someone cares enough to check in, remember the small things, celebrate your wins, and sit with you during your losses. Friendship is emotional currency, not a financial obligation. It’s built in the quiet moments just as much as the big ones.
Additionally, we have to start meeting our friends where they are. Not everyone is in a season where they can afford to go out all the time, and that’s okay. If a friend is trying to save money, pay down debt, or focus on personal goals, that decision deserves respect. Making someone feel bad for skipping dinner or saying no to a trip isn’t supportive. Respecting someone’s financial boundaries is a form of love. Likewise, if you’re the one setting the boundary, it’s important to release any guilt. True friends won’t hold it against you.
Instead of focusing on what friendship looks like online, we need to return to what it feels like in real life. Maintaining a low-cost friendship is more than possible, it just requires creativity and intention. Rotate hosting duties for at-home hangs. Explore free community events, night markets, or open mic nights. Share streaming passwords and do a virtual movie night from separate locations. Send voice notes instead of disappearing from the chat. The key is consistency and care, not cost. Thoughtful connection doesn’t require a receipt, it requires effort.
For anyone feeling anxious about declining plans or not having enough money to keep up, know that you are not alone. You are not the “broke friend.” The point of friendship is not performance. It’s not about proving you can afford a $200 night out. Instead, it’s about showing up when it counts, checking in when it matters, and creating safe spaces that don’t come with pressure.
Ultimately, the real flex is having friends who understand your limits, not ones who test them.
If friendship has started to feel like a financial burden, it may be time to rethink how we define quality time. Love cannot be measured in receipts. The richest moments are often the ones that cost the least, simply because they’re built on presence, not price.
Give yourself permission to decline plans that drain you. Offer alternatives that reflect where you’re at, and prioritize friendships that value your peace over your pockets. You do not need Ruth’s Chris to remind your friend that you love her. You just need time, space, and intention.
Let’s bring back the joy of simply being with each other, no swiping needed.