Present-day society’s graduation from traditionalism is seen through every aspect of life, especially relationships. Many cases like having a child out of wedlock, being engaged for several years, or open marriages were once frowned upon, but are now celebrated without hesitancy. While the concepts pushed in today’s relationship culture aren’t the most unfathomable, there’s one ideal seemingly making a comeback that fits the bill: polyamory, thanks to cosigning from Ne-Yo. Yes, in the era of shows like “Love Is Blind” or “Love Island” (that are meant to push the conventional idea of love), the R&B singer is advocating for love that truly has no limits — or is it love? Of course, we have questions.
Recently, the “Miss Independent” artist born Shaffer Smith has been particularly boastful about his newfound lifestyle, including an interview in which he revealed he has not one or two girlfriends, but four. Just this month, he took to Instagram to hard launch his new partners for the first time. “Since the world is so intrigued, I guess I should introduce my loves properly,” he captioned the post where all four ladies were posing for a 360 video. “LADIES AND GENTS I PRESENT MY PYRAMID,” he continued.
Contrary to popular belief, this pyramid of love (not a triangle), appears to be working well for Smith and his four girlfriends whose real names are Arielle, Cristina, Moneii, and Brionna; the latter who’s the latest addition to the family. The other women who’ve coined themselves as “Mrs. Lefts,” have produced content on a shared Instagram account for some time — from getting tattoos dedicated to their Smith to scenes from nights out with him.
Prior to this obscure entanglement, the “Closer” singer was married to TV personality Crystal Renay, who filed for divorce in 2022 due to his infidelity. Their time in court further revealed he fathered two children during their marriage — possibly explaining his decision to be polyamorous. “I feel like I wasted a lot of time just being dishonest about things, to the point where had I taken this approach initially, I could’ve saved myself a lot of headache and heartache,” he stated in a February interview reflecting on his romantic pathology. “Here’s what it is, I like you, but I also like her, and her, and her. If you cool with that, come on we gonna have a great time.” There’s nothing wrong with a great time, but where does this leave the future of dating?
Of course, Gen Z didn’t hesitate to weigh in on the singer’s unique love affair. TikTok user Téjah Erin commented under The Shade Room’s announcement post, “this is so cringy to me,” with other users questioning her stance and rebutting with comments like “you hate to see a Black man happy,” directly showing their approval of his decision. With some on the side of monogamy, and others on the side of polyamory, it remains to be seen what dating will look like as time goes on. When did loving one person stop being enough? Is it considered lowering your standards when you decide to enter a polygamous relationship? What pushes a woman to make such a decision? Is it settling? Is it all just a mask?
Whether you’re still committed to the idea of love that’s exclusively between two people or in support of a love conglomerate, it’s important to understand exactly what you’re getting into and why. Polyamory has roots in religious groups that allowed plural marriages, especially pushed during the Sexual Revolution of the 1960s and 1970s. In Ne-Yo’s case, it can be said that his polyamorous lifestyle is a byproduct of two failed attempts at achieving a family unit the traditional route (marriage) and this was the way to fulfill his needs without hurting anyone.
The battle between monogamy and polyamory is convoluted, depending on what you’re looking for. Though, with issues like fidelity and emotional maturity prevalent in Black relationship culture, the concept of loving more than one person isn’t exactly easy to digest. Does this polygamy make it easy for the hopeless romantic to be toyed with? What does this type of relationship exactly accomplish? Is it really love if you’re willing to share your special someone?
Maya Angelou described love in a profound way, “love can be many things, but the one thing it can’t be is unsure.” Whether you’re willing to go for polyamory or not is your choice, but whatever you choose, please be sure.