Navigating friendships as a zillenial isn’t always easy. Bonds that you have with friends from a young age can easily succumb to the struggles of life, and as we experience things from girlhood to womanhood, perhaps you’ve come to find that you’ve outgrown your friends, and being in alignment with your BFF seems that much harder. Seeing the Know For Sure Podcast with Megan Ashley and B. Simone coming to an end is evidence of that.
In an era where mental health and therapy is at the forefront, there’s no question that friendship and community is needed. In the midst of their relationship woes, the pair revealed on the podcast to take their 20-plus year friendship to therapy.
“I agreed to go to therapy a while ago. I think it’s about timing, I think in navigating whatever this is, I think my kind of my position is…I let you take the lead because I didn’t initiate the separation, you did, so I kinda fall back, and whenever she wants to, she will, and if she doesn’t then we won’t,” Ashley said on the now-deleted final episode of the podcast, titled ‘Navigating Uncertainty.’
Following the final episode the two unfollowed each other on social media as well.The dissolution of the podcast sparked tons of conversation online, about who’s to blame for both the end of the friendship and podcast.
The podcast had become a favorite among young women because it discussed relevant topics such as healing, growing, and evolving. There was a vulnerability the podcast had that felt relatable, almost as if you were watching a real-life Issa and Molly.
Nonetheless, their friendship on-camera showed the pair to be total opposites, and in a lot of ways, on two completely different paths in life–Simone, the happy, entertaining single friend, and Ashley the more serious, a mother, also healing from a divorce.
The realities of friendship as we age become more challenging. It can be hard to connect and find common ground, and of course, mixing business with pleasure can also be taxing. When the time spent with friends initially feels like therapy eventually turns into seeking professional help for the sake of the friendship, what do you do?
When it comes to friendship breakups, there are two sides to the coin. However, it raises the question: at what cost? Some might say going to therapy for a platonic relationship may be too much, but contrary to popular belief, it’s perfectly okay to care enough about salvaging and fostering relationships that aren’t romantic, and 26 years is longer than the average marriage.
In fact, a lot like romantic relationships, friendships also carry a level of intimacy, too. Being acknowledged by someone beyond the confines of a romantic relationship is a reminder that soulmates extend beyond dating. So when your “ride or die” is no longer, it can feel just like a romantic breakup.
On the other hand, you should never feel drained–in some cases, friendships can become too harmful to continue. Due to the strong connection, especially one that has spanned 20 years, it can be hard to end, and you might even avoid doing so, in attempt to hold onto what was.
Our relationship to both B. Simone and Megan Ashley are solely parasocial–while we can’t say we know or understand Simone and Ashley’s relationship intimately, their friendship breakdown is a reflection of a lived experience for many of us.
What it all boils down to is assessing where you’re at in your own journey, and how you are able to show up for yourself and your friends. While familiarity isn’t always the foundation of all friendships, the through line is empathy. As we journey through our teens and twenties in search of self, we may notice changes in those closest to us, and even changes within ourselves. While friendship breakups are uncomfortable, and the distance painful, we should never shy away from changing or bettering ourselves.