We’ve all aimlessly scrolled on social media, feeling many emotions because of what we’ve seen and losing joy due to a post or Instagram story. If left unmonitored, our aimless scrolling can turn into wishing we were somewhere other than where we are. Maybe you couldn’t attend the party of the century, or you missed a significant birthday dinner. Whatever the event or moment was, if you consider yourself the life of the party, missing out can take a toll on your mood.    

Still, instead of fearing missing out, we embraced it. The joy in missing out, also known as JOMO, is the emotionally healthy cousin to FOMO and focuses on the happiness or otherwise contentment of stepping away and being present in our own lives. For introverts, JOMO may seem like the obvious choice, but for those who thrive on an active life filled with twists, turns, and big energy, missing out may not seem fun. 

JOMO is not a medically recognized term, but it has been widely used for some time now. Though some are unsure about the term’s origin, it is most often credited to Anil Dash, who used it in one of her blog posts.  Instead of being glued to a screen or feeling sad because of opportunities missed, JOMO allows you to take pleasure in your current state. It causes us to step back and water our lives without feeling guilty or angry about not being where someone else is.   

JOMO doesn’t mean that you have to isolate yourself from your peers. It could mean spending time with yourself or others. Blessing Uchendu, LCSW and founder of Freshwater Counseling & Consulting, tells us that JOMO could also mean nurturing ourselves in supportive environments, such as our community of friends and family. Safe spaces like this can help us take care of ourselves and fill our emotional cups without making us seem like we are being excluded. 

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Whether we’re cuddled up with a nice book or having a sleepover with a friend, Uchendu recommends we listen to our body to determine when it is time to miss out. Our body will give us warning signs like being tired or irritable, telling us when to refuel. She also reminds us that JOMO should never exacerbate sadness or loneliness. The foundation of JOMO focuses on finding joy, and anything that deviates from this can be unhealthy. 

There are no set rules to manifesting JOMO. If you wish to invite the simple joy of missing out into your life, Uchendu suggests stepping back from social media and building a life you enjoy. This may look different for everyone, but ultimately, it involves tapping into yourself and cultivating a connection with your likes, passions, and environment. What do you like to do? Who are you when no one else is around? These can be good reflective questions when deciding how to invite JOMO. Learning a new skill or hobby can open up a new door of self-discovery, helping you find the secret to happiness.   

As a reminder, opting out of specific trends or events can mean prioritizing your well-being. In a world where social media constantly pushes us to look for the next big thing, we try to find solace inward. Silence your inner critic telling you what you should or could do and sit in the joy of missing out.

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About the Author: Brianna Robles is a Brooklyn, NY-based journalist and freelance writer specializing in mental health and women’s wellness content. Her work has been published in Her Agenda, The Good Trade, Essence, and Well + Good, to name a few. You can find her performing at local open mics and trying new restaurants when she’s not writing.