When a relationship ends, especially on bad terms, blocking your ex seems like the most logical option. That way, you’re no longer privy to their online thoughts and they can’t text or call you. It’s almost like they don’t exist. Almost. But do you still block them when the dissolution was mutual? No, right? What if having their Instagram stories pop up every day and knowing that they watch yours makes you feel weird—what then?

Blocking may be a bit extreme if nothing dramatic happened during the relationship. Sometimes, though, it may be the best option. How would you feel if you saw them posted up with their new bae—jealous, excited, or totally unfazed? If you’re over it and it doesn’t bother you? Hey, let it go and stay in touch. But if not, blocking may be the option for you.

For Medium’s Be Yourself, writer Demetra Gregorakis talked about the many facets of blocking. “[Blocking] allows our obsessive brains to relax to slowly be weaned off a person,” she wrote. “When that relationship ends, you want to hide away from all those memories and moments. By blocking them…[you help] your mind heal.” It’s true that sometimes people obsess over their exes’ profiles and create elaborate conspiracy theories about what they see. This is unhealthy and it’s a clear indicator that you need to let go.

This also applies to your ex’s family members and their friends. It doesn’t really help to block your former partner, only to indirectly keep up with them through their mother’s Facebook page. It doesn’t matter how close you two were or how much you still care for their mom, if being connected with your ex’s immediate family online is too much, then cut them off.

Also, Mercury is in retrograde right now! This means that old connections are liable to pop up to see if there’s still room for them in your life. Having old flames hit you up, or even like your picture, can be enough to send you into a frenzy and make you question your decision to end things in the first place. This is where the block button comes in. See, by blocking them, you won’t have to worry about any external temptation. You’ll make it through this season without tears or a regrettable link up.

But, sometimes, hitting your ex with a block really isn’t necessary. It’s okay to have a healthy friendship with your ex, as long as you’re both emphatically clear about your boundaries. This decision requires trust, communication, and respect—and it can totally work if your ex isn’t terrible.

All in all, blocking your ex is a personal, situational choice. It definitely shouldn’t be a way of dodging accountability or being narcissistic. If you don’t feel safe, or you don’t trust yourself to keep in contact with them without feeling any type of way, then block ’em. If all is well, though? Enjoy the friendship!

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