Our Elders aren’t getting any younger, and adulting isn’t getting any easier, yet great power comes with great responsibility. Thanksgiving is a time to be present with family, reunite with your favorite cousins, and enjoy a little too much of your favorite holiday food. For Black families, the kitchen is a magical place full of community, wisdom, and laughter. As younger generations become increasingly invested in family connection and meaningful communication, our duties seem heavier in today’s world.
We were once just playing with our Nintendo DS with a group of cousins and passing the time with the Michael Jackson Experience, blissfully unaware of the stress our mothers, grandmothers, and aunties were under to pull it all together every time. We are now growing up to take on bigger roles, and thankfully, that looks different for everyone.
One day, we’ll be the aunties and grandmothers preparing those same recipes we’ve eaten for decades for our own families. But we don’t have to get ahead of ourselves. This year, let’s focus on being present with our aging family members and honoring their work in keeping traditions alive by rolling up our sleeves to lend a helping hand in the kitchen.
Unfortunately, when a family member passes on or physically loses the ability to cook, we risk losing their recipes along with them. The ability to recreate generational recipes is a powerful reminder that they are still always here in spirit. This year, we don’t expect you to have your hands in every dish. But lending a hand will warm our family’s souls as we bump elbows with them in the kitchen, eager and ready to take in generational wisdom and build core memories. Whether it’s chopping ingredients or stirring the pot, these moments are the perfect opportunity to pick up old-school cooking techniques and secret ingredients that have stood the test of time. If the Thanksgiving-day chefs are strict about having only their own hands in the kitchen, you can still stay involved by observing and taking diligent notes.
We’re experiencing Black history erasure across the country, drastic changes in social media, and increased rates of social anxiety and seasonal depression. Now more than ever, it is important to cherish our time with our loved ones, take the weight off their shoulders, and document our family history—from the family tree and generational recipes to important landmarks.
For our digitally savvy generation, this is the chance to document family recipes and core memories, both digitally and in physical form. Traditional practices may seem outdated, but the sentimental value remains timeless. All it takes is one unsuccessful iCloud upload, and everything is lost forever. As we rise up to take on the mantle of preserving our history, starting or continuing a family cookbook keeps tradition alive.
While TikTok is a great place to discover new recipes, nothing ever compares to those homemade dishes passed down through generations. Although dependency on storing information digitally has grown, this holiday season is the perfect opportunity to get nostalgic. Remember those classic family photo albums dating back to the 60s and 70s? While it may sound archaic when you could merely capture moments on video or with a digital camera, separating core family memories from the clutter of our phones keeps them sacred.
As the meal of the year is being prepared, take the opportunity to start conversations that could unlock stories and unveil family history. Instead of running off to another room or mindlessly doomscrolling, being present in the moment speaks volumes. Dial back on screen time to truly take in the wisdom and engage intentionally. As you sit with family, remember to show your love and appreciation, either verbally or through acts of service, not just for what they contribute to the family, but also for their existence.
We’re all figuring out what adulting looks like for us. Stepping up for Thanksgiving can be intimidating during a school break or while juggling a heavy workload. Yet, as your familial responsibilities grow, honoring your youth is essential as you stay involved and engaged, slowly but surely. Whether it’s meal prep, table setting, cleanup, or documenting family history, this Thanksgiving is all about doing the work to ensure our favorite family recipes are passed down to future generations.