When it comes to Zillennials, dating is the main topic on the timeline and in real life. From apps, club interactions, and even new-age adulthood, courting times have truly changed when discussing how Gen Z maneuvers dating. According to the Survey Center of American Life, Gen Z’ers are dating less. A survey found that only 56 percent of Gen Z adults—and 54 percent of Gen Z men—said they were involved in a romantic relationship at any point during their teenage years.
The GU Creator’s House panel DND: Are You The Red Flag? Had a raw and unfiltered discussion moderated by GU Content editor Danielle Wright. The conversation revolved around dating, relationships in one’s 20s, and identifying red flags. The panelists included Clarke Peoples, Nana Agyemang, Kimberly Bizu, and Taty Cokely, each bringing their own dating perspectives.
Peoples, known for her dating excursions on TikTok, emphasized the importance of self-awareness and understanding one’s own boundaries before entering a relationship. She also shared personal anecdotes about maintaining one’s safety. “Whenever someone gives you their phone number, put their information in Spy Dialer, and you’ll get all of their information,” she says. “Also, just trust your gut and intuition and listen to yourself.”
Read ‘Essence Festival 2024: GU Creator’s House Attendees Get A Dose Of Vitamin G’
Through the dating game, there are many ups and downs in finding your person, especially for career women. Agyemang provided insights into the impact of social media on modern dating as she maneuvers being a content creator entrepreneur and balancing a relationship.“It’s really the small things, like are you getting that good morning text,” she says. “A man who is really interested in you wants to text you every day, and intentionally follows through with their plans.”
During the conversation, each of our panelists emphasized how social media can often obscure red flags as individuals curate their online personas to appear more appealing. Agyemang stressed the necessity of looking beyond the digital facade and focusing on genuine, in-person interactions to gauge compatibility and detect potential issues. “I just need to see that there’s consistency and that you’re following through with your plans.”
Bizu’s contribution focused on the psychological aspects of red flags and relationship dynamics. “The art of dating is really the art of being single,” she says. “Anytime I met the “perfect guy” I was living my best life, doing my best work and so driven.”
She discussed the common process of desperate dating and emphasized to attendees to maintain their independence when moving through the dating pool to avoid making dating your only personality trait. “You really need to focus on yourself, that is the best part of dating which is being able to be single and live your best life,” she says.
Relationship and wellness guru Taty Cokely rounded out the panel with her perspective on cultural influences and societal pressures in dating. She spoke about the expectations placed on individuals in their 20s to find a partner and settle down and how these pressures can sometimes lead to overlooking red flags. “I’m always hearing ‘why doesn’t he like me?’ or ‘what can I do to make him like me more?’ and the better question is ‘why do you like him?” she says.
Cokely advised the audience to trust their instincts and not succumb to external pressures, reminding them that it is better to be single than in an unhealthy relationship. “You like the idea of him and he probably likes the idea of you,” she says. “Black women are often trained to accept less because we’re raised to be the fixers, but we don’t have to fix a man.”
The panel was an insightful and thought-provoking discussion that gave the audience valuable advice on navigating the complexities of dating and relationships in their 20s. The diverse perspectives of the panelists offered a well-rounded understanding of red flags, empowering attendees to make informed decisions in their romantic lives.
About the Author: Kenyatta Victoria is the lead writer for Essence GU, working on all things pop culture, politics, entertainment and business. Throughout her time at GU, she’s garnered devoted readers and specializes in the Zillennial point of view.